I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
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She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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