Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
