dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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