Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
