if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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