Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
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