I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
