If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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