honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
