so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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