He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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