I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
