I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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