The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
