What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
