I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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