haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
