I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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