Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
