when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
