She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We talked him into tasing himself.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
