so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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