someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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