he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
