This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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