he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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