I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
