Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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