after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I have post one night stand depression
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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