Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
