i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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