I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
