One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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