Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize