Yo dont text me then not text me
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
