He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
