Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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