He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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