with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
