I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
