Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
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