I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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