is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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