Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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