i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize