I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
