I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
