Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he shaved USA in his pubs
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
