would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize