You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize