I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
