My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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