btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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