She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
what day is it and did you see me today?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
