As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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