Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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