google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
