I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
