I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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