I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize