AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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