She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
