I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
