There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
